A new feeling
We’re still in hospital and the paternal visiting hours of 9am – 9pm mean our days all look, taste, and sound very similar.
We turned the TV on this morning onto This Morning and on the sofa were a mum and dad talking to Phil and Holly about their son.
He had died last year after taking drugs. It was a one off thing, he’d experimented and it had gone horribly wrong.
I’m not one to sit crying at the TV, but today this particularly sad story, and the dignity and courage of the parents was incredibly moving.
And so as I held my four day old son and watched a daytime magazine show, I wept for those parents.
Perhaps it’s a delayed response to the labour, birth and general overwhelming feeling of being a dad.
Perhaps it’s the exhaustion.
Perhaps it’s something that I’ll always feel now.
I gave Kasper a squeeze, told him I loved him and that it’s okay to cry.
I think I’m becoming a dad.